HOW ARE BELIEF SYSTEMS FORMED?

Belief systems may be: consciously taught, developed through observation or developed as a result of a specific event or experience.

1.Consciously Taught belief systems 

Belief systems exist based on nationality, gender,religion,social status, educational background, age, political background, etc.

• Every culture has beliefs that they teach.

• Every religion has beliefs that they teach.

• Every family has beliefs that they teach.

Because we belong to multiple categories, or demographics, our personal belief systems become very complex as elements from each of these external beliefs systems influence our personal belief system.For example a French Christian woman will have a different belief system than an American Christian woman.

2. Observation - based belief systems

In addition to beliefs that we are taught, we also "pick up" beliefs based on what web observe around us.These beliefs are often developed at the subconscious level and we may not be aware that they exist.For example,

• A child, who sees her mother exercise to stay healthy, may develop a belief that staying physically fit is important.

• A child who see his father open a can of beer every day after work, may develop a belief that drinking beer is the way to relax after work. 

• A child who see his parents volunteer and donate money to charity may develop a belief that giving is a part of life.

• A child who hears his mother berate a person because of his race, may develop a belief that all people that race are not worthy. 

3. Event- based belief systems

Beliefs are also developed through life experiences and events.These are developed at both the conscious level and the subconscious level. For example:

• A child who is teased at school because of her clothes might develop a belief that certain clothes are important for "fitting in".

• A child who hits the game-winning homers may develop a belief that he is a star athlete.

• A child who wins a ribbon for her drawing may develop a belief that she is creative and artistic.

What is interesting about beliefs is that each of us may observe the same thing, or experience a similar event, yet develop a completely different belief as a result of that experience.For example:

• A child who is bullied may lose self-esteem and become socially crippled.However,another child is a similar situation might develop "thick skin" and decide that no matter what someone says to her, it doesn't bother her.Her self-esteem remains intact.

• A child who sees his father open a can beer after work may develop a belief that drinking beer is the way to relax after work and repeat the pattern when he grows up. On the contrary, his brother, who experiences the same situation, may develop a belief that drinking causes people to "check out" and may choose not to drink when he grows up.

As you can see, believe systems can be formed at a very young age. The challenging thing for us grownups is that we may have developed beliefs at the age of six that are impacting how we experience our lives and not even be aware of it!

Belief systems are neither right or wrong!They support us in creating what we want in our lives (supportive beliefs), or they don't( limiting beliefs).

Examples of supportive beliefs that move us forward include:

"I AM SMART"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO"

"I AM TALENTED"

"I AM FUN"

"FEAR WON'T STOP ME"

"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE FOR ME" 

Examples of negative beliefs that hold us back may include:

"I'M TOO OLD TO/ TO YOUNG .. GET MARRIED, START A BUSINESS, HAVE THE JOB THAT I WANT"

"MY GRADES AREN'T VERY GOOD SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO COLLEGE"

Limiting beliefs are based on fear, self-doubt,peer pressure, judgment,messages from parents, society, teachers, media, past failures,etc. These beliefs, one by one build a wall around us. And it becomes easier to stay behind these walls where we know it is "safe".The area inside of these walls become our "comfort zone".

Our comfort zone is an artificial mental border created by our limiting beliefs- it is where we feel most comfortable and we know what to expect.The longer we live with limiting beliefs, the stronger the walls become, and the more difficult it can be to break out of the comfort zone.

We must find a way to break out of these walls because our dreams live out side of our comfort zone.

It is critical that we teach these concepts to our children.Each time they hear a limiting belief from others, they are at risk of it seeping into a program deep in their subconscious. When that happens, the walls begin to form and their dreams begin to get buried.How can we teach our children to live outside these walls? 

1. By teaching our children how to identify limiting beliefs from peers, school,society,and the media so they can decide for themselves what they believe.

2. By teaching them how to identify limiting beliefs within themselves based on the words they use and the feelings those words create.

3. By teaching them how to look for possibilities when faced with a challenge to prevent limiting beliefs from forming.

4. By teaching our children how to proactively develop supportive belief systems. And what is amazing about belief systems is that we get to choose what we believe !